Windows 8: It’s Time to Quit Whining
Windows 8 was designed for both tablet and PC alike, it has sparked many a heated debate, though not as bad as the old Apple v. Microsoft arguments that still linger like an unshowered cosplayer’s feet.(meaning you shouldn’t be having them anymore).
Recently I had an encounter with a few people who found out what I do and were very excited to tell me how much they hated Windows 8. Though I’ve been using it myself for some time, I found a lot of their complaints about as disappointing as a DC Superhero on CW. I’ll go over few key points here but I’m also going to be explaining to you why you’re wrong and how you should just relax.
The Start Button
The first complaint of Window 8 always seems to be the start button. Answer? Update you lazy fuck. Windows 8.1 put it back. Which always leads to the 2nd complaint.
The Metro Interface
The Metro interface has a bit more going on that you might want to pay attention to. Instead of a little menu that comes up where you click your mouse through like a good Neanderthal, you get to layout tiles as you need them, or if you don’t want to even bother, type the first couple of letters of the app you want and poof, it’s there. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, Windows 8 solved that. There’s a big ass down arrow which lays out every application you have installed for your blind thoughtless existence to peruse.
Windows 8 Apps
Now personally I’ve tried a few here and there and for the most part I have little use for them. There’s a few that are quite nice. I can simply hit my windows key, have a weather box setup and poof. Tons of access to weather (it’s cached too). So if for some reason you don’t have internet, which likely means you’re a T-Mobile user or on Verizon in a crowded city, then you can still get the information you need. If you work in an office this also negates the need for the usual Baby-Boomer to install WeatherBug. And even if you don’t use the Windows 8 apps, who cares? It’s not using system resources. Hard disk space you say? Oh you mean you might have to uninstall something? Because that’s never happened to you before. Unless you’ve installed OEM versions your entire life, you’ve always uninstalled unneeded stuff. At least you should have. Trial McAfee clearly is strong than your Kung Fu.
Swipe Screens
Just go into your Mouse options and disable it. Was that so hard? Because you have an option you don’t need the OS sucks? There’s an old expression that goes "throwing the baby out with the bath water". You kicked the little shit over to Deadpool to cut up before it went down the drain if this is your gripe. The swipe screens aren’t a big deal and even if Windows 8 didn’t come with them, if you had a tablet and you couldn’t swipe, you’d be crying.
Business Environments
This might not apply to all but seriously, it’s amazing. You mean I just lock out my users to really big tiles so they are only using what they need? Everything is right there for them? ……..I’ll wait till that sinks in. If you still have a complaint about Windows 8 in a work environment, I can only assume you don’t understand how it works with Active Directory. In which case, shhhh.
Look, I know you get used to your ways. You want it to perform as it always has and now that it looks different your first reaction is…. "That’s fucking dumb, Windows 8 sucks". Well welcome to becoming your parents. Time to move on. That said, we’re really looking forward to Windows 9, and maybe it can help you to move on.